My recently retired friend and newly graduated daughter were both experiencing similar symptoms. Each 1) were aware their bodies were changing, aware they were aging; 2) had expectations the fruition of their last phase of life would result in immediate new results in their next phase of life and 3) were experiencing a lot of surprising emotions including fear, anger and frustration. They are not alone in this experience with transitions.
"I know what I want and what I expect. Why do things seem like they're getting harder instead of easier after all this work?" Always with endings there are new beginnings. Completing a job, a project, a masters thesis, bring us to a new place. First there is satisfaction in completion, something to be celebrated and acknowledged. Then there is typically a shift in our resources of time, energy and money. For example, my daughter was feeling the responsibility of upcoming new bills, my friend working within a fixed budget. How you spend your time comes up. What will bring you what you want next? How are you working with your energy, what is draining you, what is fueling you?
Because you are a beginner. And there is more to learn. You are designing and bringing in the next phase of your life. Being a beginner means getting uncomfortable. Getting uncomfortable is a good sign, it means you're doing something different, creating new neural connections. To get new results, or even work on mastering and refinement, means being willing to get uncomfortable. For me, when things have gotten more challenging, I find the easy way out. That means jumping right in. Not in an in your face challenging way, but in a gentle and liberating way. The fastest way to get beyond the discomfort is to become friends with it. It gives you power, it changes the landscape, it offers you another view, and the discomfort shifts.
So with the endings come new beginnings. And with new beginnings, you get to become friends with your new self. With nurturing and kindness you find the way to the next experience your aging body can embrace.
To all of you graduating from whatever phase, congratulations. I hope you take the time to pause, reflect, celebrate, and open up to the next you, gently in it's infancy, just being birthed.
"I know what I want and what I expect. Why do things seem like they're getting harder instead of easier after all this work?" Always with endings there are new beginnings. Completing a job, a project, a masters thesis, bring us to a new place. First there is satisfaction in completion, something to be celebrated and acknowledged. Then there is typically a shift in our resources of time, energy and money. For example, my daughter was feeling the responsibility of upcoming new bills, my friend working within a fixed budget. How you spend your time comes up. What will bring you what you want next? How are you working with your energy, what is draining you, what is fueling you?
Because you are a beginner. And there is more to learn. You are designing and bringing in the next phase of your life. Being a beginner means getting uncomfortable. Getting uncomfortable is a good sign, it means you're doing something different, creating new neural connections. To get new results, or even work on mastering and refinement, means being willing to get uncomfortable. For me, when things have gotten more challenging, I find the easy way out. That means jumping right in. Not in an in your face challenging way, but in a gentle and liberating way. The fastest way to get beyond the discomfort is to become friends with it. It gives you power, it changes the landscape, it offers you another view, and the discomfort shifts.
So with the endings come new beginnings. And with new beginnings, you get to become friends with your new self. With nurturing and kindness you find the way to the next experience your aging body can embrace.
To all of you graduating from whatever phase, congratulations. I hope you take the time to pause, reflect, celebrate, and open up to the next you, gently in it's infancy, just being birthed.
